I showed him my bush... on skype.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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