That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
