Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
