I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
They have beer where we have blood.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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