whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
