I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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