I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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