Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
