it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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