i jhust puked up my retainher.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
