Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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