i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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