Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
