Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
