plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
