He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
