So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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