Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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