The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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