I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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