idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
