she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
