What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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