i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize