I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
