We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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