sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
