How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
