Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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