So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
