Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
