How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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