I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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