We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
