Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize