I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
