3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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