tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He passed out mid-signature
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
