I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
