bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
