3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Randomize
