she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
