I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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