btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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