i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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