The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
