Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
