im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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