I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
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