I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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