So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
