Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Randomize
