There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I need water and some morals
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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