Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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