Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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