You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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