I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
