i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
