Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
